Where am I and what am I doing?

I'm back in PA and working as a screen printer still. It's nice to back in familiar places and around people of comfort. Moving around is always stressful and exhausting. It's rather hard to live in an apartment still considering my conditions and being able to work. I was hoping by this time I would hear back from disability but I haven't. It's a horrible and long process. I can't say how tired I am of this whole thing. I wish it could be sorted and finished.

However, being back in PA and focusing on myself. I've been able to keep my POTS under control and start becoming strong again. Also thanks to figuring out my gluten intolerance, I've been feeling better all over. I've been able to do more and eat without getting sick. It's improved my way of life. I've started going to the gym as well to work on my legs and endurance like the cardiologist told me. It's going to help me get stronger and be able to do more without getting so tired quickly. It'll also help me from passing out so easily. Because it's pumping my blood upward. I started at the end of December working out and I've definitely noticed a difference so far! I've got muscle building again! It also helps me with my job and standing for longer periods of time. The only downside is my Fibromyaliga acting up and hating me for working out. But it gets better as I go. I'm just sore all the time.

I've also picked up therapy again and have the best therapist I've ever had and it's been lovely!

Life Update: Where has my life been?

I don't even know myself. I've got my GI test results back. Gluten intolerance...not Gastroparesis.
Which is good I guess, I have to just change up my diet rather than go through the craziness of finding medicine or more procedures. Other than that, I have a lovely colon according to the doctor.

But the rest of my life, is just falling apart. 

Head over Heels for Autumn

These pumpkins are in our backyard and I'm not sorry about this post because it's my favourite time of year! 

Autumn is nostalgia for me. It's super close to my heart and brings out my childhood.

To get started, PLEASE read this book. It's lovely and who doesn't love fairytale books with magic and folklore???

From Goodreads.com: 

"A fantasy set in Tsarist Russia.

Elena Rudina lives in the impoverished Russian countryside. Her father has been dead for years. One of her brothers has been conscripted into the Tsar’s army, the other taken as a servant in the house of the local landowner. Her mother is dying, slowly, in their tiny cabin. And there is no food. But then a train arrives in the village, a train carrying untold wealth, a cornucopia of food, and a noble family destined to visit the Tsar in Saint Petersburg — a family that includes Ekaterina, a girl of Elena’s age. When the two girls’ lives collide, an adventure is set in motion, an escapade that includes mistaken identity, a monk locked in a tower, a prince traveling incognito, and — in a starring role only Gregory Maguire could have conjured — Baba Yaga, witch of Russian folklore, in her ambulatory house perched on chicken legs..."

Finally, I've baked something this summer/fall.....I haven't since the spring. It's been too hot and since we've moved into a studio apartment, we have a small kitchen. BUT this recipe is super easy and doesn't take a lot of ingredients. 

The Monkey Bread Recipe I Used!!

Ditching the Smartphone

Last year around this time I got my very first Smartphone. At first, it was fun and I enjoyed being connected to the generation around me. You know, everyone had one. And still having my flip phone seemed out of place at the time. 

But as a year had gone by, I feel like I've lost more of myself and the relationships around me. I feel like I communicate less, I don't do things I use to do (like ART, finishing a book, photographing), and I get so bored easier. It's boring scrolling on your phone. Does anyone else have this problem? 

Though there are some pros for my Smartphone, like GPS and games to keep me occupied whilst flaring. But I do own a regular GPS and I have a computer when I'm stuck in bed. And I think those things are enough. I already feel like I'm turning into a Zombie having a smartphone. I really find it unsettling that people rely on them so much when a regular phone does justice. 

I'll be making my change back to a flip phone with just call and text in September. And I'll be glad I did it! And not to mention, it's going to be a whole lot cheaper! 

New Year???

Thus far the new years hasn't really bought much change except for the mere fact that the digits have changed and I hope that through my own strength I can make it. My new years resolutions are to survive.

By that I mean, surviving...

1. More medical paperwork
2. PMS-ing stomach that can't decide what's going to tolerate
3. A wonky heart
4. My body's inability to control it's own temperature
5. Laying in the middle of the floor trying not to barf on random occasions
6. Fighting the government as to why I need disability


But I look forward to:

1. FLORIDA (which involves Harry Potter theme park)
2. Perhaps having the opportunity to go to a clinic for POTS
3. Getting my freakin' photography in gear!....................how does one network with illnesses?
4. A better job
5. And a first pet

The guess the only real resolution I have for myself is Meditation and Focus. I want to start making my life easier and less stressful with organization and meditation. Having peace of mind and a de-cluttered life is the way to begin. I've already started with getting rid of things that I don't need and minimizing the items I own. This includes; clothing, books, decor, linens, and papers. And even, IF I DARE SAY IT, art supplies that I don't use anymore.

Let's hope that I survive another year and moving brings better things.

Made it another year

Yesterday was my 24th birthday! 

I had a pretty calming day. I took pictures all day, chilled outside and went to my man's family reunion. This was probably the first birthday in a while that I wasn't sick or feeling sick and it was quite nice. 

Here are some of my favourite pictures from today....

Poor Shadow was pooped from all the kiddos

Finally but not least, my man and I being silly. 

Resolutions (August Edition)

Resolutions are usually associated with the New Year, but for my friends and I, we have come to use July as our resolution time. It's been the only time we are able to get together every year and it's some thing we started back one summer around a campfire. What 3 things will we want to work on by the time we see each other again?

This year was no different, though I've struggled to come to my resolutions. I think it's because so much has changed in the last year. I don't know what anything is ever going to be like. I'm pretty sure I haven't lived in the same place since I left for college. Switching dorms or apartments. It's all so uncertain and I find myself wanting to just settle down now. My body is tired and moving around doesn't help it. Having a home that would be accessible in all ways to me would be nice; a place to call my haven.

There are many things that need to be settled between now and then obviously, like a job and finances. But that's what I want, a path. One I can call my own.

I have made the decision to be done with school. I think it's been enough and the loans are higher than I want them. I've been paying off my hospital bills and what not since before I got my Medical Assistance. And they are almost gone!

1. Pay off medical bills/credit cards used for those expenses

That is the top most important resolution! Then I can start working on my student loans once again. (not that I'm excited) But I can start putting money aside for better things; like a home and perhaps a new car.

2.  Make career advancements

Here I am, almost 25 and I'm finally in a field that I want to be, but not exactly the niche, per say. Getting to that point is the second most important part. I want to work for an art gallery or museum where I can be a part of the art world and be a librarian. I want to keep track of the most important arts of the world and make sure their history lives on! Combining my bachelors in art and my years in library science, is the perfect start....or at least it seems like it.  

3. Make plans to move out of state

 ahhh, Pennsylvania. It's been real, but I have to say we are through. I can't deal with your PMS weather changes, crappy roads, angry/rude people, or lack of culture. I'm not sorry. Sincerely, me.

I have plans to move once again, much later though. Maybe in two years or so. This is going to be a BIG move. And hopefully permanent. I don't feel in sync here with Pennsylvania. It's not wild enough for me nor cultured enough.

So that's what I came up with and hopefully, we'll see where I am next year!

Summer Updates!

From my previous post...

~

There are a ton of things I am looking forward to this summer: 

1. Finish decorating my apartment

2. Comic CON's!

3. Learn how to kayak 

4. Learn how to ride a bike

 5. Start my new job as a Teen Coordinator Assistant

6. Tattoo

7. Camping

8. Sister Weekend with my college gals and gals from home

9. Adopting a kitten

 10. Photography Business Updates! 

~

Almost there!!!

Lazy Weekend

It's nice to have a lazy weekend once and awhile. This weekend was definitely an accomplishment on my half. On Saturday, we decided to go swimming. I haven't gone swimming in three years and since I've had my last episode in the hospital last year. Naturally, I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to enjoy myself swimming. But it wasn't bad at all. If I lazed around in the pool with a floater, I was able to handle myself. But the actual act of swimming and having to doggie paddle in the deep end tired me out very quickly. I barely did any swimming before losing my breath. Needless to say, I stuck to the floater.

Also this past week, the man bought a new used car and it's a stick shift......... just so you all know, I am now being trained in how to drive a stick shift. I didn't do too bad in my first lesson and I kinda like it. The only main problem I have is that my legs are kinda short to reach the pedals. So using the clutch is obviously hard with little legs. We even moved the seat as far as it can go! #shortpeopleproblems  as the (6'5") boyfriend would say. Lucky chap!

Then the rest of the weekend was spent being nerdy and playing World of Warcraft (don't judge) together and basically chilling from the recently busy work weeks. Work has been crazy with the Summer Reading Program. Kids every day, all day. It's rather tiring.

But there is one thing that cures the craziness and that's mama Wescott's strawberry jam!

It's heaven on earth! 

7.6.2014

Dear July, 

You're very quiet this summer. I didn't quite know what to expect of you this year to be honest. So much has changed. Last year was tragic and I don't really remember very much. All I know is that it was chaotic; stressful. 

But this year, you're peaceful. Filled with love and joy, good company, new family and friends. I've been quite happy. I'm learning to take each day as it is. And to just be. 

I'm excited for what the future may hold, but for now July. It's you and I and the rest of the world. 

New Things and Saving Spoons

For those with chronic illnesses know the "Spoon Theory", others may not. The theory explains how it is to start your day off with a limited amount of options, due to the lack of energy a person may have. Younger people have the hardest time understanding this because of their abundance of energy. But for a "spoonie", life is much different. It's all about saving the spoons. I decided to put up the things I do or use to save spoons.

1. Wheelchair

My newest purchase, thanks to craigslist, was my very own wheelchair. It comes in handy for big trips where  I'm standing or walking around for a long time. I use to use the chairs at the grocery store or wherever I could find one. I did learn the hard way at Comic Con, that I really should have my own especially when I need it. So, viola! 

2. Energy Snacks and Fluids

Beef jerky may seem gross to some people, but I like it. And the protein energy boost is nice! I don't have to worry about caffeine like in those energy bars. Also, the faithful gatorade. What potsy doesn't live without it? 

3. Air Conditioning and Ice Packs: Basically anything to keep cool when heat is on the run!

4. Medicine container: A good reminder and place to store the countless meds. 

5. Pre-planed meals: Saves time on cooking. I like to use my organization skills and weekends on planning out easy meals that are healthy. 

These are just a few things I do to save spoons. If you have any thoughts or ideas. Comment below!  

Comic Con!

I almost totally forgot to post up Comic Con fun! Here we go! 

I went to Comic Con with the man for his birthday and my brothers were there with us as well! There was a game Lending Library, where we played (the now owned) game, Munchkin Quest. It's probably the cutest game ever! 

We got to see the Tardis and Dr. Deadpool.

Then my brothers had to get pictures with the Tardis and the Doctor.....

Oh and I got to see Karen Gillan from a far!

~

The trip was a lot of fun! The drive was long, but we made it. I was dying from all the walking and we tried to get a wheelchair for me, but they were all gone. Darn reserves. But alas, I am fixing THAT problem! 

I also got to see Christopher Llyod and the Delorean! Way cool! 

I took tons of gater and beef jerky....for some reason if gives me some extra energy. 

little things

Even after some days, that seem like I'm never going to get through, end.  It's really about the small things. I've believed that all along; ever since I was a child. It's much better simpler; less cluttered (physically and mentally). I want that freedom to explore, create, BREATHE,  and take in the beauty around me. 

Sure I know on this blog I rant about my health, it's crappy, but it is what it is. I have the freedom to let it out. Better here than it floating in my mind or wearing out a loved one. (especially ones who already understand how you feel and are there no matter what) But regardless of those negative thoughts that sometimes haunt me...

I want to vow to a simpler life. To build a home of my own and live life to the fullest. 

It's time for a change. Somewhere along the line of pre-teen into adulthood I lost that simple life pleasure and it just became complete chaos. Right now, I'm finally starting to see a light and it's wonderful. 

    ~ 

"The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light." Romans 13:12 

Casa de Beatriz

Back with my college ladies! 

Breakfast in the sun. The best breakfast I've definitely. 

       

Being a rebel and got a second piercing! 

We explored and went to the magical Van Gogh Cafe! 

Last year we made goals for our life. And this year we made goals again, but framed them. 

Last Graduation

Cristina came up this week to hang out and attend graduation with me! 

Main Street Cafe has french fry pizza! 

We then took a trip to the FireFly Bookstore in Kutztown, PA to look around at their used books! 

We had a seat once again at graduation, but this time as Alumna's! Afterwards we tried to get pictures with everyone possible before the rain came! 

Congrats ladies!

IndieMade

This weekend I met up with two of my best friends from childhood at the IndieMade Craft Market. We made some crafts and bought some awesome winter hats! *featured below 

Liz and Myko being, well, themselves. 

I also made this neat bag with stencils and ink. 

It was really nice being back in Allentown and at the Indie Market. It brought back so many memories of college and how much I miss being a part of it. I miss being able to make art and run off to the studio for hours. I miss the connections I had and the people I met. One day, I hope to back to that place of bliss and happiness. And the have art in my life again. 

Spring Break

Typically, any other spring break I would go home for the week to rest and catch up on course work. This time around my one art class decided to go to New York City for the week. We stayed inbetween SoHo and Chinatown. And we were only a block from Little Italy! I was happy as a bean! 

Our first day up, we spent the evening in Central Park. We went and had a nice coffee break at a little cafe. 

Alice in Wonderland Sculpture

Diva friend, Liz.

Our professor and her "ducklings". Then below is Diva Liz once again whilst we were at dinner at the Heartland Brewery before we headed off to see a movie and frolic around the Strand bookstore. 

At the Strand, I got a copy of the Great Gatsby.

The next morning we went off to the Bluebird Sky Cafe for breakfast before heading off to Brooklyn to meet an artist, Molly Dilworth. 

At Molly's we talked about community art and what she does as an artist. Here is a video of her work: 

And a sneak peek of her current project

After our morning visit with Molly, we retired back to the city to eat at a Japanese restaurant, Asahi. I love sushi and think I may have had the best at this place. They also have amazing ginger salads! 

Next, we went to the MOMA; a place I've been waiting to see for a long time. I finally saw Starry Night by Van Gogh for the first time and the room of Monet, which made me cry. 

(these pictures don't serve justice by the way) 

I also got to see the wonderful Eva Hesse and once again, a Richard Serra piece. 

Eva Hesse

Richard Serra

Later that night, we had a very blurry evening at a Mexican bar in downtown SoHo. I had a (damn strong, but good) bloody orange margarita.  

The next day we attended a workshop in Brooklyn at the 3rd Ward; a very hip place indeed. I was so excited for the workshop because it was a printmaking workshop! My medium! 

Photo courtesy of Diva Liz

We got a fabulous kit to keep. All the basics without a press.  

Photo courtesy of Diva Liz

The reason for the used photos is because I missed half the workshop thanks to cutting myself with the knife and almost passing out. I basically spent the rest of the night sleeping in the hotel whilst everyone else took a trip to the MET. I guess a good artist never leaves the studio without a battle wound. *shrugs*

The last day in SoHo...we jumped across a few streets to Little Italy to eat at De Gennaro's. I can definitely say I the most wonderful Cesar salad in my life there.  

Thee End