Career Woes with Chronic Illness

Two weekends ago I was incredibly proud of myself being able to photograph a wedding that had a lot of ups and downs in the ways of POTS. I had many things to watch and look out for not only for my health but for a wedding. a WEDDING! I was shooting it! It seemed like an incredibly crazy idea at the time and it still was when we were driving up to the venue of the wedding. I became sick the day of with my heart racing and nausea taking over. My man perhaps thought it was because of nerves and I could say he was right because later on, the rest of me was fine. I kept hydrated as I could and used my wheelchair to get from the ceremony spot to the reception spots, as well as the bride and groom rooms. That fact that I have a wheelchair to do that, makes me incredibly happy. 

Thee Gorgeous Bride and Groom! 

I was lucky to have shot my first wedding with a couple I knew and were flexible and knowledgeable of my illness. It have given me the experience of doing a bigger event other than a 2 hour engagement or family shoot. 

The Bride and I! 

I thankfully made it til the end of the night! 10am to 10pm! 12 hours of work and I didn't die. Well, I was sore for a couple of days with my fibromyalgia. I managed to keep up my energy with an extra potassium pill and drinking TONS of water and Gatoraide. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Afterwards though, I had a new job to start that Monday, and had a total breakdown realizing that I couldn't handle a retail job that required a lot of standing, moving up and down, and crazy amounts of stress that I couldn't handle 5 days a week for more than 8 hours a day. I have a hard time enough working an 8 hour day at a library. 

But, meanwhile in my library job, I am losing hours because of our funding. Which sucks because it's the perfect job for my body to handle all the time and I'm still able to do photography occasionally. Yet again, I have to struggle to find a job because I'm not making nearly as much as I was and it's hard with paying for an apartment and with my SSDI still "in progress". It would be nice to know that my disability could be approved and finalized so I could live without having to worry. 

But alas. *dumb government

Graph It Out

Graphs are a glorious thing. Someone in our POTS group on fb has found/made this one! I'll keep it posted in the POTS tab on the sidebar for future reference! 

Another thing about graphs is they are used in showing statistics in said areas. This week I've been researching stats on library science and teen programming in particular because I am heading into a problem I don't exactly know how to deal with or confront. Salary. I've been told that they couldn't offer me a new salary due to it not being budget time, but then again, I don't even know what sort of salary I will be getting or if I'll be paid back-paid for the work I am doing now. I love the job and the position, but I also like being paid for the work I am doing as well. Dealing with teens isn't the easiest of tasks. 

I have a meeting with the boss tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. 

Lazy Weekend

It's nice to have a lazy weekend once and awhile. This weekend was definitely an accomplishment on my half. On Saturday, we decided to go swimming. I haven't gone swimming in three years and since I've had my last episode in the hospital last year. Naturally, I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to enjoy myself swimming. But it wasn't bad at all. If I lazed around in the pool with a floater, I was able to handle myself. But the actual act of swimming and having to doggie paddle in the deep end tired me out very quickly. I barely did any swimming before losing my breath. Needless to say, I stuck to the floater.

Also this past week, the man bought a new used car and it's a stick shift......... just so you all know, I am now being trained in how to drive a stick shift. I didn't do too bad in my first lesson and I kinda like it. The only main problem I have is that my legs are kinda short to reach the pedals. So using the clutch is obviously hard with little legs. We even moved the seat as far as it can go! #shortpeopleproblems  as the (6'5") boyfriend would say. Lucky chap!

Then the rest of the weekend was spent being nerdy and playing World of Warcraft (don't judge) together and basically chilling from the recently busy work weeks. Work has been crazy with the Summer Reading Program. Kids every day, all day. It's rather tiring.

But there is one thing that cures the craziness and that's mama Wescott's strawberry jam!

It's heaven on earth! 

Higher Education VS. Higher Education

As I've written before, I have been struggling with the idea of education and the cost of education; what's it worth?

More or less my average loan debt at this point is about $50,000. Between my undergraduate degree and semester of graduate work. By the end of this degree achievement, I'll be in let's say $70,000???? And the average librarian only earns $43,000 a year.
At this point my average living costs are about $12,000 a year. (Not mentioning my chronic illness costs) I'm probably only getting $9,000 of that plus whatever I can earn from my photography on the side.

That's a lot of numbers.

What's the worth? Unless I'm going to become a director of a library, not much.
What's the difference of higher education verses higher education?
You're own self worth, ambitions and goals.
What do you want? What can you do? What are you happy with?

I'm a self learner and I'm always learning regardless of earning a degree. There are free classes and credits one can take at certain universities or LIBRARIES! And you can do it on your own time! Just think of the idea of homeschooling....it's a constant learning area!

I also have a chronic illness, which can be expensive. I'm always looking for ways that I can save and be worthwhile for my energy level. I know very well, that I can't handle a high-stress, high-energy environment all the time. Taking a course in life and in education that is beneficial to my health and wallet is worth it!

So here is my resignation with HIGHER education. Adios, expensive schools and hello loans. I'm going to concur you and use the resources and degree I already have to my potential!

Early Mornings, Teenagers, & POTS

This morning was my first official day of a new job, Teen Assistant Coordinator. Normally, I think I would be fine, but today I had to wake up early (6am) to go talk to students at a local school. Getting up for spoonies is already a challenge; low bp, muscles relaxed, joints stiff, sometimes angry morning stomachs, not enough blood flowing, etc. Well, today, as always was a challenge to get up. 

However, I did enjoy talking to the kids about our summer programs at the library. They seemed excited and I got a good few hand raises for those who like reading. I'm pretty sure some of them were half asleep as I was though, lol. I know one thing that definitely killed it and it was those darn stairs. The 6th grade was on the top floor and I nearly died seeing the stairs and knowing I had to climb all of them. 

YIKES! 

I was winded for sure when we made it to the top. The whole time I was thinking in my head, keep it cool around the principle, body be good.  

I made it and then happily collapsed back into bed.